7A 1B not bad...

It seems that my results weren't thatbad that I expected....

PMR result just came out today... I was so nervous... When I got my results... It was a relieve... It wasn't that bad at all... Sometimes, I felt my results were bad, although I dunno where that feelings come from... But I trust myself... I trust my hard-works will pay...

I spent almost all the time I'd left to study on my weaker subjects... And it just came out distinctive~~

Haha... Looks like I'm going to Form 4 pretty soon...

18/12 7.21pm Gasping air from the business in the centre...

Actually now I am doing some work on the computer... Some orders that I have to sent to the HQ to prepare the worksheets used for next week... Haiz, it seems I'm too busy to blog nowadays... I'll try to but not frequently. My timetable are fully used:

Monday - Tuition at 3.30pm to 5.30pm
Tuesday - At Centre from 4.30pm to 9.30pm
Wednesday - 1.30-2.15 Piano Class; 3.30-5.30 tuition; 7.00-9.30 at centre
Thursday - *Free* 8.05-10.50 Basketball with friends :-)
Friday - 3.30-5.30 tuition; 5.30-9.30 At centre
Saturday - 9.30-1.30pm at centre
Sunday - *Free* If no other activities....

Actually ages like this it isnt nice to have a timetable like this, but I do.... So I'll try to suit myself in it... But I requires a lot of time and sacrifices~~

I am thinking whether i got a future or not...

I don't know why... My luck this years seems to be "0"... My leg is recovering but I cannot attend whatever activity... I hate the feeling to stay at home... I don't really wanna stay at home... I hate it...

I really want freedom... I don't think I can get it... 3years from now, I will still be in this situation... My estimation are never wrong... Haiz, this is the second year I can't follow to PD... T.T...

I think I will not have any chance to go to PD with my friends again... The only chance to meet my friends are 11/22 BBQ party... I think I will advise all: “酒逢知己千杯少, 不醉不归！！”

If I keep on missing all this activities... I think I am a robot... All programed... In my program, I only know work, money, sleep, eat... I hate this activities but it seems I have no other choices... I rather go out... Out of my house.. I don't care doing what... But I don't think I have a chance...

I am sad for this... Very very sad... I lost... I admit defeat to destiny, luck and freedon... I have a feeling that I'll cry... But I won't shed tears for what I hate... I only shed tears for what I like...

I don't know whether I can sleep or not... Its been a week since I can't sleep well...

A very boring day indeed...

I wonder who is the hell Christina Chan... She is making me freaked up... I mean really freaked up... I don't understand her meanings and i don't want to answer her question either... I just hope she never exist... I just... I just want to keep that to myself... Really I want to keep the answer to myself ONLY...

Everyone is talking about this... This is more than a rumour... lol, I really dunno how to settle this. I really hope this rumoour will stop... I don't want this to continue and continue... Cause this is interuputing my life... I am just an ordinary person, why this type of things keep on happening on me~~

Lol... Party on 11/22 was confirmed... Hope everyone could come and enjoy... the map to my house... please click on the link for more information... Go to google map and search for Taman Kajang Impian... For more details call 016-2318618

My leg!!

The picture of my wound... The doctor sew it up...

Lol... Quite painful and awful to look up at it...

But thats a souvenir...

What a relieve!

Today is a brand new day of my life... I think I am going to appreciate the chance that God gave me to live on... I'll live on with courage and dare...

I just hope I can meet my friends as soon as possible... Some of them I opt to meet them but there not around... Haiz, its something I can't accomplish on time...

I just hope I got... I got one more chance...

30/10/2009 FRI

Today.. Not very happy... 9.30 morning I reached the hospital for a regular check-up... To check the wound... The doctor said it was counted good and will recover soon... He loosen my bandage to make my walkings more convinient...

I had my breakfast and its time for medicine... Now I'm in my mum's office having my break... Sometimes I think I am very very useless now... I need people to help me... I mean always... I don't know how to describe my feels... I can't walk the stairs as how I usually could... It is just not me... I can walk stairs like flying but.. I just feel abnormal... I tried to execute my work in the classroom but it seems that my leg was a burden for me.

Whenever I strectch my thigh muscles... I'll feel the pain... And this isn't a joke... Quite painful... So I try to relax my muscles... But I'll walk like a person who is lame person... Lol... What the hell happened to me... What should I do...

A lucky surgery...

Long time ago, I found out there was something on my thigh... Lol, that was quite funny though... But yesterday, it started to have an enlargement which scares me. I think it will not be serious, so I decided not to tell my mum. But, everything can't be hidden from my mum, she discovered it and took me to a doctor. After the explanation from the doctor, this may be quite serious just in case.

He recomended me to go for a small surgery to take off the tumour. Eventually I was afraid... Because it might be something bad... But I told myself to calm down... Before that I went for my music class. Maybe there, I started to relax...

At 3pm, I reached the hospital... I went to the hospital just to check... But the doctor insisted to do the surgery cause its just a small matter to him... I think I felt paralyze and didn't even have my feelings.. He keep on asking me whether it is pain or not... I gave him 2 answer... "NO"..."little bit only"....

Just about 5 minutes... Its done... They sent that tumour to the lab for some experiment... The result havn't come out yet... I felt a little bit worried... But I know from the first moment that even it is a bad case... I'll just have to accept it... In this situation... I think I should be more optimistic...

I felt so lonely~~

As for these few days... I didn't go to school. I either stay at home or at office. I seems to be bored and lonely. I seem to like to go to school. At least I meet my friends and start a talk with them. Heard that Raymond Lam is going to have a concert in Genting, Malaysia. I just hope I can go to the concert but I knew the answer is "NO"...

I think its time for me to think about my future.. I really hope my academic results were good, but it aint so good in fact... I hope time passes as slow as [possible]... Juz think about something sad, it will pass slowly... When I am happy, it passes as river flows...

As for today.. I got a bad news to all... I might go for a surgery soon or later... My mum was worrying about this. As for me... 生死有命

Holi-Days

Lol, what I can say is I used the whole holiday to SMS... I mean SMS, work, eat, Basketball, and travel...

Yester day I went for a music lesson. I wanna learn how to play piano. But it seems I have a long way to go~~ So far~~ Lol, sometimes I will feel that no matter a person is happy or sad, they will wanna listen to music to calm themselves...

I think thats the best way for me. For me to relax my minds...

I am now wondering what is the difference between feel, like and love~~?? What's the difference, and how to differenciate it... I need an exact answer. But I don't think any beings in the world would tell me the answer. No one, I mean no one.

As long as I am alive, I'll seek for the answer myself. However, I don't guarantee a sucess...

其实我不快乐

离别你不经异地 想工作暗天暗地

直到可困倦沉睡 不挂念你

情愿我呼天叫地 总好过这么顾忌

害怕走往日场地 倘碰著你会撑不起



和谁在一起都用来共你相比

就算了不起只可做到我知己

谁若寄望替代你最尾都要放弃 只能退避

和谁在一起很自然共你相比

就算游戏笑著也未快乐得起

难道我在寄望有天可失忆 找到转机



其实我很不快乐 想躲进暗黑街角

泪尽可痛快地流落 不知哪日会对爱再有感觉



和谁在一起都用来共你相比

就算了不起只可做到我知己

谁若寄望替代你最尾都要放弃 只好退避

和谁在一起很自然共你相比

就算游戏笑著也未快乐得起

难道我在寄望有天可失忆 找到转机


和谁在一起都用来共你相比


就算了不起只可做到我知己

谁若寄望替代你最尾都要放弃 只好退避

和谁在一起很自然共你相比

就算游戏笑著也未快乐得起

难道我在寄望有天可失忆

难道这份记念如像空气

欠缺就会死

“我的心情就如这首歌～～”

9,10,11/10/2009

Lolz, Happy Birthday 2 me!!

I don't think it is nice to have a birthday celebration in such a nervous situation..~~ But it won't bother me to study... I think I need a good time for me to go study hard as hard as possible. Especially when I register for Chinese.

I didn't regret though I know I wasn't capable to get A in Chinese but I promised to try my best no matter how hard it takes... I hope my dreams come true. To achieve targets isn't :" 99% perspiration, 1% inspiration" anymore... It should be:" Lucks, Hard Works and Supports" These three are very important~~!!

I dunno how others do but I trust myself that I can do it.~~ As good As POSSIBLE!!

Nothing happened these days. But hope something interesting happen...

7/10/2009 Wed

Today is PMR, every junior high school student's test of achievement. I battled hard today. I don't care whether my result was heaven or hell, I've did and tried my best to answer. Some were tricky though, maybe I didn't do too good.

As for me, I'm a clearly positive person. So I believe that I can achieve good results. I am very very tired. Maybe because I suffer from insomnia since a few days ago.

I can think I've got short sightness cause I can't clearly see things far away. I hope not because I don't want to wear spectacles at this age. I have tried hard to keep my eyes in good condition.

It was lucky the dream didn't haunt my nights these a few days. If it really comes back, I hope it comes back on 13th October. Thats when PMR is over.

And information for those reading my blog. Just to inform that I maybe will have a small party in my house during my Chinese Birthday since my Birthday falls on this Friday.

More details, I'll post out later...

Good Luck for those having their exams!!

3/10/2009 Sat

Today, it was boring. I hope nothing bad happen to me after I wrote this blog. I expect that today it will be a peaceful day but it didn't turn up. I think it is way worse than I thought.

Morning, I was in the office teaching some naughty students opting they could be better in maths. Some showed improvement, impressed.

Afternoon, I had a nap for around 2 hours cause I'm very very tired. I dreamt about the dream I mention. This time, I juz have a little memory recovered. All I know was she was talking as if it is the last time we will meet. Opt to see her face but in the dreams, we just talk through phone.

I thought I could grant control over this nightmare, but I failed. Hope to change the situaion. Why not take this as a sweet dream!! Hope to find out soon or later...

I hope to find out details about the person, and don't let it haunt me during the exams...

Nitez everyone...

2/10/2009

Back from school, feeling tired. I think, exam is really a stress for me. I can only face exams without stressing myself up. I think I can do it. Hope it will be good luck for me.

I chat with Jenny yesterday. Talking about things that happen ago. Dunno why, chatting with her, I was very happy or rather I should say excited. I know what is my thought to her. I take her as a sister. But I don't think my FEEL do so. That is because my feel to her were stronger than to others...

But I hope my conclusionw was wrong. Maybe I think I fell in love with her before but that was a long time ago... I never thought I will meet her because for I think, she prefer staying in Africa more than coming back, so I don't expect she will come back.

I tried to give her up. I suceeded but failed today...

29/9/2009 Tue

Today, it wasn't that happy as I thought, now I felt why some of the students will suffer in their studies, I thought of it for a long time. Finally one answer came out, they was FORCED to help their parents working in the shop for 5 hours.

I argued this problem with my mum a lot of time since the last a few month ago. Not that I don't wanna work. I just can't work in such time as if I'm 8 days before the battle that I prepared for three years. Shouldn't I deepen my preparations??? Or stay in the shop there doing nothing but teaching some naughty students.

I am really really stressed out. She told me that I can study in her shop. But didn't she realised that I can't study in such environment, sometimes I notice that she didn't know my style: style of studying and style of thinking. If I really wanna study, I prefer to lock my self in a 14ftX10ft room and execute my studies.

Very tired about that. I don't think I can continue. Before it reach PMR, I am collapsed already...

28/9/2009, Mon

Monday

Today, I felt very very down. My high marks maths has dropped... Dropped a lot. From 96 to 89... Haiz. Today is quite boring.

Afternoon,I on my facebook, I saw Jenny online, terrified. I thought she was studying or revising her studies but she wasn't, hope that won't distract he usual result.I asked her wat is she doing. She said she didn't know what she want. We talked a lot. I wanna buy a phone, she said she wants too. I hope I find a phone that suits my attitude. Hope she does so. Anyway she says she wants to go watch dramas.. BB...

I played a DoTa match wif Willy. Although I won but I'm not satisfied. I thought I can play better than that. Later on, I went for tuition. During tuition, I did my sejarah as good as possible. My first paper was 39/60, my second time was 41/60, showed some improvement.

After tuition, I waited for my mum for a long period. She overwent. Haiz need to wait until 8.40pm only reach home.

Watching Moonlight resonance. Hope will remember some sweet memories with 'her'...

近几天的心情 （暗恋）

没想过我这样开朗的人也有睡不着的夜晚。我已经有4天没睡好了。每天都要等到凌晨3时才能睡。我星期一时发了一个梦，非常怪异，梦见有一个人，打了一个电话给我，跟我说了几句我毕生难忘的话。我是个不发梦的人。实际上，无论在任何情况，遇到任何压力我也很少发梦。

近几天，我心事重重似的。其实，实不相瞒，我曾经偷偷地爱上一个人。不知何时何月，我已经把这段感情放下了。我再也没回头望。也许，时间真的能冲淡一切。现在，我们依然是好朋友。我不会给她知道我的心情。若我给她知道，或者一切都会改变，我们再也没话题了，可能连朋友都不能做了。

Unhappy about this...

I feel more and more lonely... I was like about going to lose contact with all of my friends especially those that I seldom met. I don't wanna mention their names... When we were still young, we use to play around together. But now, we all ahve our own life. I think I cannot return the relationship back to those times....

All type of exams, all schooling and all studying. Me, studying till death... I really hope after these days, we could really gather, gather to talk what happened in those days...

What I said was un-understandable by those who isn't involved...

Stary, stary night....

I sometimes wonder, how many being here were suffering as I am... Everyone thought they suffered the most... So do I. But, after i ask myself that silly questions... I finally found out that most of us aren't suffering... We're enjoying on the other thought.

"Stary, stary night...." sure is one popoular song... A stary night does just means that it is beautiful, it means that sky is large, stars are everywhere... It may be boring for another person though...

I felt so lucky because I went through many countries...:
-Singapore - 3 weeks
-London, great Britain, 13hours
-Paris, France, 1 week
-Frankfurt, Germany, 13 hours
-Amsterdam, Holland, 13hours
-Lagos, Nigeria,3 years
-Seoul, Korea, 8 days

I had all my memories in all these countries... I wished to go to Seoul again as it is seasonal... My memories were locked in these dimension. I never thought that I had the opportunity to pay a visit to so many countries...

Somehow, the worst country, I stayed the longest. Lagos, Nigeria, located in west of Africa. I stayed there for 3 years. It was like a an imigration. But a temporary one... i met the most important friends in my life.... They help me to pass through hard times like having a 'bomb blast' incident at january, 2002... this was when I confirm they are my best friends, then, now and forever...

After the trials.... Yahoo!!!

Trials are over...
A new and peaceful day starts here...
While the freaking hard to sleep days have past...!!

H1N1.... Deadly 1(s)...

H1N1 spreading very fast & furious... I really don't know whether I had it or not... It was already 3 days of fever and I am ver, very afraid of having H1N1, but synthoms show it isn't... And I believe my life won't end so fast...

The was what I thought but I have to accept reality. But I didn't mean I had it lah, of course... The trials are going to start next week... Fairly worried but I believe I made enough preparation already...

I think still need to study more because I don't want to waste my talents... It is very precious to me... I wrote a very funny essay conatining 6 words which are impossible to be combined as a story... But I manage to do so... So I am willing to share my joy...

I'll post in the next blog, the essay contains 6 word:
1) KHS (Kajang High School)
2) Peter Pan (fantasy)
3) dolphin (animal)
4) fly (action)
5) cheerful (raection)
6) Siti Nur Haliza (a... singer)

Stamina training days

Two days with extreme stamina training, leads death if accidents occur... I hate to say so but I am in an extremely bad luck situation... Saturday, 10th of June, I had a campfire at SMK Cochrane, one of the nicest school I've been... The view from the school was cool, and was facing to KLCC... Wow, girls there are all pretty... I went there with my scout brothers... (A.K.A. Pang Cheng Hao, Hew Khai Sheng and Tong Li Keong) There are very humorous and friendly although they sometimes might go crazy or insane
Pang was invited by a girl for a dance and he rejected, what a shame... I got no girls at all... MORE SHAMEFUL... And the campfire ended at 11.30pm I suppose... We got a sick power when we know that we do not have any transport to go home... Our leaders ask for permission that we are allowed to overnight there... But I knew I can't... So I took permission and seek for public transports...
We ran 2km's for around 5 minutes...(VERY FAST 4 an amature...) We ran here and there looking for buses... All buses back home was no more... So we seek for a taxi... The taxi need RM50 for 7 person at first... Later a bus code T-040 heading to Pekan Kajang... I was like shouting and running... I chased the bus side by side for 3 minutes, I didn't feel any tiredness as I know that is our last hope...
When I saw there was a T-junction in front, I was almost doomed... And I noted that there was traffic in the front which keep me moving... At last, the bus stop, I knock the mirror and hope that I can have a ride on it... The bus driver ignored me and showed a LCLY face, HOW DARE YOU!!! I will never forgot him... My friend and the taxi driver arrived... the taxi driver want us to add another RM20, (maybe he saw us chasing the bus T.T)
Reached home at 12.00am, slept at 1.30am... Sweet Dreams...

I do not know the reason that keep me wanting to go to the campfire... On that particular day, I was suppose to have a gathering with my friends from Nigeria... I wanted to avoid, avoid something... Maybe I doesn't know but my reaction... Somtimes intuitive sense... I hate to admit, but something was going to happen if I went for the gathering, and I really mean it, A real BIG ONE...

A Tuesday Evening

Tuesday again... Although it was quite enjoying, but I don't have mood today... I don't know how to describe my feelings but I can only tell you that I am very moody and boring... It seems like there are no other activities that can be executed today... It is a fix law that I must help in my mum's centre. It was kind of a job, part-time job, a boss's son (how embarassong!)... I need to take a deep breath, a really deep one... This is the only way that I can release the pressure throughout the session...

I wanna find a friend, a friend that can neutralize my sorrowful and deeply under-pressured heart... It wasn't easy though... To find a a true friend who can understand your feeling are yet more difficult than finding a way to score straight A's for examination...

Your score definitely won't betray you, but friends will... I do not know what to express as my feelings... I feel like I am in a dimension, there are a lot of doors... Each doors leads to different way... Out of the millions of doors, I need to find the correct door to enter. Once entered, there is no point of return... And yet, time is running out...

Life is a dream...

Life is compared to a dream... Many things could happen, it could be good or else bad. I think we have the choice and opportunity to choose our path, whether good or bad, correct or wrong... We must do this with no regret.

Once life has ended, we are like being awaken from our dreams, all the memories are been scattered and thrown away. It is being restarted and now, another life may begin.

In this world, there are more than 1000 births and deaths a day... As day passes the number may increase or decrease... Don't be sad to die... In Buddhist lessons, for those who had done good deeds, there are allowed to pass away faster as it is suffering to live in this world.

Crime is a typical type of error human made. They always choose to furfil their destiny and left their dignty in nowhere... I hate criminals, it is not discrimination but hatred can't be explaines... Although I haveno right to say so but I must, to go against our will isn't easy, unless you're a super great mighty cheater....

Nightmares

Since last week, I had a few rows of nightmares. It wasn't that scary but I think i was to mention something... I am afraid something bad is around the corner. And I fear it will come soon. But worries are useless, I better get prepared...

Someone eold me that this year is a very tough year for me and I reject it. I don't believe, I won't take it easy too. The nightmare made me had some fear, and I got some inspiration in my blogs.

Why not just let the forsaken memories leave us alone...

What does the phrase above means actually...

Explanation:
Memories contains of what we remember... But does it means that every single piece of our memory is good and healthy for us all? That's why elimination is that important. Most of the people that seek the help of psychologist usually do have some unwanted memories inside them, thats why they seeks for help...

Pieces of memory are given postive and negative. Once positive evironmental memories meets negative memories in our soul, it charges and make us remember back what had happened. Unfortunately, these memories are unable to be wiped out... You will have to find your own solution...

(The above explanation are based on what I think and observe and havn't been proven)

"A never end breeze" a poem written by KSK..!!!

Life's but a short breeze
I never actually understood your feelings
But now I know and I had to admit it
Hope that we can be keep in touch
And be friends again
But I just don't know why
I can't bring up my courage now to go and talk to u
I may be foolish to be shy but i don't know why
Hope u won't be mad or angry at me
But someday I will bring up my courage to talk to u
Hope that day will come
Till that day comes hope u can be happy with the guy who is destined for u

^^

Will never forget this feeling.
looking in to the deep blue skies.Where I wish i could fly like the birds.
Hope i won't ever feel this pain again.I just wish all my problems will just fade away.

My comment:

The only hope in life,
when it is gone,
does it means that it has already ended?

A great pain that smashes your life into pieces,
not even a bit of a piece left,
But does it mean that you are the most unlucky guy in the world?

When a you have been destined to a person,
but when something has just snatched it away,
does it means that life is sorrowful and meaningless?

In our life, it is a line graph,
there are up and downs,
enjoy the up,
ride the down,
if you are happy,
you have to live,
if you are unhappy,
you too have too live...

Why not just let the forsaken memories leave us alone...
Let us just live with dignity and eternity...


(To whom it may concern)

2 Days after the Camp-Fire

Campfire in SMK Sri Sentosa was really awesome... I made a lot of friends... Representratives from our school were truly less.... We only got 15people going there...

There were a lot of girls too... They are "night-er's" Once the sun sets, the voice rises... Everyone was like getting insane... Shouting, screaming, taking autographs... There weren't any discipline...

I don't know why, although I'm not that handsome but a lot of them wants autograph from me... Whoa, i signed more than 20 autographs... But I only got 5 autographs T.T...

I am looking forward for the next camp-fire...

One more day to go...

I seldom join co-curriculum sctivities. I am the type of person who is lazy to join those type of borin' activities especially 'disiplinaries'. But I got a chance to join a camp-fire held at SMK Sri Sentosa.

Heard from them there is a guy which wants, but doesn't have the chance to do so... Because he had no attenance to the scouts this year, the scouter said he gave me a chance because I attended ONCE ONCE... I was thinking, if I didn't go for the campaign, cleaning up the school, I wouldn't have chance to do so... I think I am lucky, really lucky...

However, my phone was like going to explode... It doesn't explode by itself but I'll make it explode... I hate the MicroSD slot... It always shoot the SD card out... GoDD**n it..!!

I want a W595i to become phone's sucessor, who will contribute it to me??

A video I loved...

"Vincent" and "appreciate" by Raymond Lam and Linda Chung



黑白變奏-學警狙擊主題曲

I am that knida person

As a blogger, I think I should intro myself....

Name: "Unknown"
Nickname: Kazu, Zave
Age: 14
Status: Single, maybe searching for one...
School: The most famous Kajang High School
Hobbies: Blogging, and chatting via sms
HP no.: If you wanna know, peep my blog often...
Other inquiries: To know more, pls add my msn: zave_94@hotmail.com

This is my new blog, although I am not new to blog... I've learnt blogging years ago... By the way, I am a very cold-blooded person, so do not expect any mercy from me...