29/9/2009 Tue

Today, it wasn't that happy as I thought, now I felt why some of the students will suffer in their studies, I thought of it for a long time. Finally one answer came out, they was FORCED to help their parents working in the shop for 5 hours.

I argued this problem with my mum a lot of time since the last a few month ago. Not that I don't wanna work. I just can't work in such time as if I'm 8 days before the battle that I prepared for three years. Shouldn't I deepen my preparations??? Or stay in the shop there doing nothing but teaching some naughty students.

I am really really stressed out. She told me that I can study in her shop. But didn't she realised that I can't study in such environment, sometimes I notice that she didn't know my style: style of studying and style of thinking. If I really wanna study, I prefer to lock my self in a 14ftX10ft room and execute my studies.

Very tired about that. I don't think I can continue. Before it reach PMR, I am collapsed already...

28/9/2009, Mon

Monday

Today, I felt very very down. My high marks maths has dropped... Dropped a lot. From 96 to 89... Haiz. Today is quite boring.

Afternoon,I on my facebook, I saw Jenny online, terrified. I thought she was studying or revising her studies but she wasn't, hope that won't distract he usual result.I asked her wat is she doing. She said she didn't know what she want. We talked a lot. I wanna buy a phone, she said she wants too. I hope I find a phone that suits my attitude. Hope she does so. Anyway she says she wants to go watch dramas.. BB...

I played a DoTa match wif Willy. Although I won but I'm not satisfied. I thought I can play better than that. Later on, I went for tuition. During tuition, I did my sejarah as good as possible. My first paper was 39/60, my second time was 41/60, showed some improvement.

After tuition, I waited for my mum for a long period. She overwent. Haiz need to wait until 8.40pm only reach home.

Watching Moonlight resonance. Hope will remember some sweet memories with 'her'...

近几天的心情 （暗恋）

没想过我这样开朗的人也有睡不着的夜晚。我已经有4天没睡好了。每天都要等到凌晨3时才能睡。我星期一时发了一个梦，非常怪异，梦见有一个人，打了一个电话给我，跟我说了几句我毕生难忘的话。我是个不发梦的人。实际上，无论在任何情况，遇到任何压力我也很少发梦。

近几天，我心事重重似的。其实，实不相瞒，我曾经偷偷地爱上一个人。不知何时何月，我已经把这段感情放下了。我再也没回头望。也许，时间真的能冲淡一切。现在，我们依然是好朋友。我不会给她知道我的心情。若我给她知道，或者一切都会改变，我们再也没话题了，可能连朋友都不能做了。

Unhappy about this...

I feel more and more lonely... I was like about going to lose contact with all of my friends especially those that I seldom met. I don't wanna mention their names... When we were still young, we use to play around together. But now, we all ahve our own life. I think I cannot return the relationship back to those times....

All type of exams, all schooling and all studying. Me, studying till death... I really hope after these days, we could really gather, gather to talk what happened in those days...

What I said was un-understandable by those who isn't involved...