30/10/2009 FRI

Today.. Not very happy... 9.30 morning I reached the hospital for a regular check-up... To check the wound... The doctor said it was counted good and will recover soon... He loosen my bandage to make my walkings more convinient...

I had my breakfast and its time for medicine... Now I'm in my mum's office having my break... Sometimes I think I am very very useless now... I need people to help me... I mean always... I don't know how to describe my feels... I can't walk the stairs as how I usually could... It is just not me... I can walk stairs like flying but.. I just feel abnormal... I tried to execute my work in the classroom but it seems that my leg was a burden for me.

Whenever I strectch my thigh muscles... I'll feel the pain... And this isn't a joke... Quite painful... So I try to relax my muscles... But I'll walk like a person who is lame person... Lol... What the hell happened to me... What should I do...

A lucky surgery...

Long time ago, I found out there was something on my thigh... Lol, that was quite funny though... But yesterday, it started to have an enlargement which scares me. I think it will not be serious, so I decided not to tell my mum. But, everything can't be hidden from my mum, she discovered it and took me to a doctor. After the explanation from the doctor, this may be quite serious just in case.

He recomended me to go for a small surgery to take off the tumour. Eventually I was afraid... Because it might be something bad... But I told myself to calm down... Before that I went for my music class. Maybe there, I started to relax...

At 3pm, I reached the hospital... I went to the hospital just to check... But the doctor insisted to do the surgery cause its just a small matter to him... I think I felt paralyze and didn't even have my feelings.. He keep on asking me whether it is pain or not... I gave him 2 answer... "NO"..."little bit only"....

Just about 5 minutes... Its done... They sent that tumour to the lab for some experiment... The result havn't come out yet... I felt a little bit worried... But I know from the first moment that even it is a bad case... I'll just have to accept it... In this situation... I think I should be more optimistic...

I felt so lonely~~

As for these few days... I didn't go to school. I either stay at home or at office. I seems to be bored and lonely. I seem to like to go to school. At least I meet my friends and start a talk with them. Heard that Raymond Lam is going to have a concert in Genting, Malaysia. I just hope I can go to the concert but I knew the answer is "NO"...

I think its time for me to think about my future.. I really hope my academic results were good, but it aint so good in fact... I hope time passes as slow as [possible]... Juz think about something sad, it will pass slowly... When I am happy, it passes as river flows...

As for today.. I got a bad news to all... I might go for a surgery soon or later... My mum was worrying about this. As for me... 生死有命

Holi-Days

Lol, what I can say is I used the whole holiday to SMS... I mean SMS, work, eat, Basketball, and travel...

Yester day I went for a music lesson. I wanna learn how to play piano. But it seems I have a long way to go~~ So far~~ Lol, sometimes I will feel that no matter a person is happy or sad, they will wanna listen to music to calm themselves...

I think thats the best way for me. For me to relax my minds...

I am now wondering what is the difference between feel, like and love~~?? What's the difference, and how to differenciate it... I need an exact answer. But I don't think any beings in the world would tell me the answer. No one, I mean no one.

As long as I am alive, I'll seek for the answer myself. However, I don't guarantee a sucess...

其实我不快乐

离别你不经异地 想工作暗天暗地

直到可困倦沉睡 不挂念你

情愿我呼天叫地 总好过这么顾忌

害怕走往日场地 倘碰著你会撑不起



和谁在一起都用来共你相比

就算了不起只可做到我知己

谁若寄望替代你最尾都要放弃 只能退避

和谁在一起很自然共你相比

就算游戏笑著也未快乐得起

难道我在寄望有天可失忆 找到转机



其实我很不快乐 想躲进暗黑街角

泪尽可痛快地流落 不知哪日会对爱再有感觉



和谁在一起都用来共你相比

就算了不起只可做到我知己

谁若寄望替代你最尾都要放弃 只好退避

和谁在一起很自然共你相比

就算游戏笑著也未快乐得起

难道我在寄望有天可失忆 找到转机


和谁在一起都用来共你相比


就算了不起只可做到我知己

谁若寄望替代你最尾都要放弃 只好退避

和谁在一起很自然共你相比

就算游戏笑著也未快乐得起

难道我在寄望有天可失忆

难道这份记念如像空气

欠缺就会死

“我的心情就如这首歌～～”

9,10,11/10/2009

Lolz, Happy Birthday 2 me!!

I don't think it is nice to have a birthday celebration in such a nervous situation..~~ But it won't bother me to study... I think I need a good time for me to go study hard as hard as possible. Especially when I register for Chinese.

I didn't regret though I know I wasn't capable to get A in Chinese but I promised to try my best no matter how hard it takes... I hope my dreams come true. To achieve targets isn't :" 99% perspiration, 1% inspiration" anymore... It should be:" Lucks, Hard Works and Supports" These three are very important~~!!

I dunno how others do but I trust myself that I can do it.~~ As good As POSSIBLE!!

Nothing happened these days. But hope something interesting happen...

7/10/2009 Wed

Today is PMR, every junior high school student's test of achievement. I battled hard today. I don't care whether my result was heaven or hell, I've did and tried my best to answer. Some were tricky though, maybe I didn't do too good.

As for me, I'm a clearly positive person. So I believe that I can achieve good results. I am very very tired. Maybe because I suffer from insomnia since a few days ago.

I can think I've got short sightness cause I can't clearly see things far away. I hope not because I don't want to wear spectacles at this age. I have tried hard to keep my eyes in good condition.

It was lucky the dream didn't haunt my nights these a few days. If it really comes back, I hope it comes back on 13th October. Thats when PMR is over.

And information for those reading my blog. Just to inform that I maybe will have a small party in my house during my Chinese Birthday since my Birthday falls on this Friday.

More details, I'll post out later...

Good Luck for those having their exams!!

3/10/2009 Sat

Today, it was boring. I hope nothing bad happen to me after I wrote this blog. I expect that today it will be a peaceful day but it didn't turn up. I think it is way worse than I thought.

Morning, I was in the office teaching some naughty students opting they could be better in maths. Some showed improvement, impressed.

Afternoon, I had a nap for around 2 hours cause I'm very very tired. I dreamt about the dream I mention. This time, I juz have a little memory recovered. All I know was she was talking as if it is the last time we will meet. Opt to see her face but in the dreams, we just talk through phone.

I thought I could grant control over this nightmare, but I failed. Hope to change the situaion. Why not take this as a sweet dream!! Hope to find out soon or later...

I hope to find out details about the person, and don't let it haunt me during the exams...

Nitez everyone...

2/10/2009

Back from school, feeling tired. I think, exam is really a stress for me. I can only face exams without stressing myself up. I think I can do it. Hope it will be good luck for me.

I chat with Jenny yesterday. Talking about things that happen ago. Dunno why, chatting with her, I was very happy or rather I should say excited. I know what is my thought to her. I take her as a sister. But I don't think my FEEL do so. That is because my feel to her were stronger than to others...

But I hope my conclusionw was wrong. Maybe I think I fell in love with her before but that was a long time ago... I never thought I will meet her because for I think, she prefer staying in Africa more than coming back, so I don't expect she will come back.

I tried to give her up. I suceeded but failed today...