A memorable day (6/2/2011)

It is really a memorable day. Today I heard something that I have been waiting for ages... At last I ambeing accepted... Is this fate? I am good at explaining but I havnt experience b4 till just now... The moment she said so... I really cant believe my eyes... Am I dreaming or what....? Is this an inception? But I believe this is destiny... It saw you and I and brought us hear alongside to each other...

Me - Recent

Recently, I got a bad time management... School's cocuricular activities had turned heavy for me... Of course, I think most of us do... But I think this is too extreme for a person like me.. I had insufficient time to rest... So, can anyone help me out... But I think only I can help myself only...

I had never feel as bad as recent... I really dunno why I felt like I cannot withstand the strain on me...

I really hope someone can give me a chat...

I really do...

I did what I should do...

And I will continue on, even if I am not willing to...

If there is a line of hope...

Even as thin as a thread...

I will continue...

Till it meets...

SUCESS

9th June

I had some strange feelings today... I was very very very tired throughout the day. I helped my mum and payed a visit to the E-nopi Putrajaya class. I can see the potential and strategy to have the class there. It will be a good kick-start.

I think most activity that I've done throughout today was sleeping, cleaning and helping my mum out... Sometimes too much of sleep makes my sight blur. I never had this feeling before. But once I had it... It had never recover...

I created a new webpage on my own, it has been updated I will keep moving forward :-)...

http://www.life-kazu.webs.com/

I gotta prepare stuff for tomorrow's journey back to hometown. I hope everything there is fine because i had changed dramatically... I really dunno what to say bout the feeling when I reached there. I always had bad impression on travelling back to hometown... I am very bored about it... Especially the long journey back...

Anyway... Happy Day, Safe Journey I hope!!

Quite bored~~

A lot of things happened in just a few weeks of time... Seems like everyone had changed... From immature to mature, from mature to non-sense.... From a weak person to a strong person... And from bored to companion...

Scouts camp had just postponed from March holidays to school holidays. Seems like I need to re-write the letter. To switch the dates~~ Hope no errors again and no need to make correction..

Last Thursday, I went for a dinner... Although the place was very high class indeed... But nothing kept me attracted... I was just attracted to the red wine that I drank a mouth... Maybe by then my mood was mood-less, what I tasted was that the red wine had no taste at all in the first mouth... The second mouth was to test again whether I was wrong or not... It was tasteless and brings a little bit of sweet... Hmm, seems that mood will determine the taste of the wine....

Yesterday... I drank Vietnamese coffee... It was special... It was giving me a special feel... A feel like falling in love to somebody~~ lol... Thats just expression~~

Love is actually very simple... Why do we have to make it so complicated...
Love is actually for 2 person... Why does it have to include our parents...
Love is actually happy... Why do so many ppl shed so many tears for it...

Haiz... In conclusion... Love is so weird...

Finally...

AFS program... This is a program that I have waited so long for... Student exchange programme.... Lol, that is my only aim for this year... Hope I could attend it.... And I will also continue my scout journey.... I just up-graded to a patrol leader....

My patrol's name is "Megat Terakwis"... Cute name but quite easy to get it spelled wrongly~~ At least I achieved something that I nvr thought of... This year gave me a lot of surprises and also stress... My aim is to excavate more surprises and take control over ALL my stresses so that I won't be down easily...

7A 1B not bad...

It seems that my results weren't thatbad that I expected....

PMR result just came out today... I was so nervous... When I got my results... It was a relieve... It wasn't that bad at all... Sometimes, I felt my results were bad, although I dunno where that feelings come from... But I trust myself... I trust my hard-works will pay...

I spent almost all the time I'd left to study on my weaker subjects... And it just came out distinctive~~

Haha... Looks like I'm going to Form 4 pretty soon...

18/12 7.21pm Gasping air from the business in the centre...

Actually now I am doing some work on the computer... Some orders that I have to sent to the HQ to prepare the worksheets used for next week... Haiz, it seems I'm too busy to blog nowadays... I'll try to but not frequently. My timetable are fully used:

Monday - Tuition at 3.30pm to 5.30pm
Tuesday - At Centre from 4.30pm to 9.30pm
Wednesday - 1.30-2.15 Piano Class; 3.30-5.30 tuition; 7.00-9.30 at centre
Thursday - *Free* 8.05-10.50 Basketball with friends :-)
Friday - 3.30-5.30 tuition; 5.30-9.30 At centre
Saturday - 9.30-1.30pm at centre
Sunday - *Free* If no other activities....

Actually ages like this it isnt nice to have a timetable like this, but I do.... So I'll try to suit myself in it... But I requires a lot of time and sacrifices~~

I am thinking whether i got a future or not...

I don't know why... My luck this years seems to be "0"... My leg is recovering but I cannot attend whatever activity... I hate the feeling to stay at home... I don't really wanna stay at home... I hate it...

I really want freedom... I don't think I can get it... 3years from now, I will still be in this situation... My estimation are never wrong... Haiz, this is the second year I can't follow to PD... T.T...

I think I will not have any chance to go to PD with my friends again... The only chance to meet my friends are 11/22 BBQ party... I think I will advise all: “酒逢知己千杯少, 不醉不归！！”

If I keep on missing all this activities... I think I am a robot... All programed... In my program, I only know work, money, sleep, eat... I hate this activities but it seems I have no other choices... I rather go out... Out of my house.. I don't care doing what... But I don't think I have a chance...

I am sad for this... Very very sad... I lost... I admit defeat to destiny, luck and freedon... I have a feeling that I'll cry... But I won't shed tears for what I hate... I only shed tears for what I like...

I don't know whether I can sleep or not... Its been a week since I can't sleep well...

A very boring day indeed...

I wonder who is the hell Christina Chan... She is making me freaked up... I mean really freaked up... I don't understand her meanings and i don't want to answer her question either... I just hope she never exist... I just... I just want to keep that to myself... Really I want to keep the answer to myself ONLY...

Everyone is talking about this... This is more than a rumour... lol, I really dunno how to settle this. I really hope this rumoour will stop... I don't want this to continue and continue... Cause this is interuputing my life... I am just an ordinary person, why this type of things keep on happening on me~~

Lol... Party on 11/22 was confirmed... Hope everyone could come and enjoy... the map to my house... please click on the link for more information... Go to google map and search for Taman Kajang Impian... For more details call 016-2318618

My leg!!

The picture of my wound... The doctor sew it up...

Lol... Quite painful and awful to look up at it...

But thats a souvenir...

What a relieve!

Today is a brand new day of my life... I think I am going to appreciate the chance that God gave me to live on... I'll live on with courage and dare...

I just hope I can meet my friends as soon as possible... Some of them I opt to meet them but there not around... Haiz, its something I can't accomplish on time...

I just hope I got... I got one more chance...

30/10/2009 FRI

Today.. Not very happy... 9.30 morning I reached the hospital for a regular check-up... To check the wound... The doctor said it was counted good and will recover soon... He loosen my bandage to make my walkings more convinient...

I had my breakfast and its time for medicine... Now I'm in my mum's office having my break... Sometimes I think I am very very useless now... I need people to help me... I mean always... I don't know how to describe my feels... I can't walk the stairs as how I usually could... It is just not me... I can walk stairs like flying but.. I just feel abnormal... I tried to execute my work in the classroom but it seems that my leg was a burden for me.

Whenever I strectch my thigh muscles... I'll feel the pain... And this isn't a joke... Quite painful... So I try to relax my muscles... But I'll walk like a person who is lame person... Lol... What the hell happened to me... What should I do...

A lucky surgery...

Long time ago, I found out there was something on my thigh... Lol, that was quite funny though... But yesterday, it started to have an enlargement which scares me. I think it will not be serious, so I decided not to tell my mum. But, everything can't be hidden from my mum, she discovered it and took me to a doctor. After the explanation from the doctor, this may be quite serious just in case.

He recomended me to go for a small surgery to take off the tumour. Eventually I was afraid... Because it might be something bad... But I told myself to calm down... Before that I went for my music class. Maybe there, I started to relax...

At 3pm, I reached the hospital... I went to the hospital just to check... But the doctor insisted to do the surgery cause its just a small matter to him... I think I felt paralyze and didn't even have my feelings.. He keep on asking me whether it is pain or not... I gave him 2 answer... "NO"..."little bit only"....

Just about 5 minutes... Its done... They sent that tumour to the lab for some experiment... The result havn't come out yet... I felt a little bit worried... But I know from the first moment that even it is a bad case... I'll just have to accept it... In this situation... I think I should be more optimistic...

I felt so lonely~~

As for these few days... I didn't go to school. I either stay at home or at office. I seems to be bored and lonely. I seem to like to go to school. At least I meet my friends and start a talk with them. Heard that Raymond Lam is going to have a concert in Genting, Malaysia. I just hope I can go to the concert but I knew the answer is "NO"...

I think its time for me to think about my future.. I really hope my academic results were good, but it aint so good in fact... I hope time passes as slow as [possible]... Juz think about something sad, it will pass slowly... When I am happy, it passes as river flows...

As for today.. I got a bad news to all... I might go for a surgery soon or later... My mum was worrying about this. As for me... 生死有命

Holi-Days

Lol, what I can say is I used the whole holiday to SMS... I mean SMS, work, eat, Basketball, and travel...

Yester day I went for a music lesson. I wanna learn how to play piano. But it seems I have a long way to go~~ So far~~ Lol, sometimes I will feel that no matter a person is happy or sad, they will wanna listen to music to calm themselves...

I think thats the best way for me. For me to relax my minds...

I am now wondering what is the difference between feel, like and love~~?? What's the difference, and how to differenciate it... I need an exact answer. But I don't think any beings in the world would tell me the answer. No one, I mean no one.

As long as I am alive, I'll seek for the answer myself. However, I don't guarantee a sucess...

其实我不快乐

离别你不经异地 想工作暗天暗地

直到可困倦沉睡 不挂念你

情愿我呼天叫地 总好过这么顾忌

害怕走往日场地 倘碰著你会撑不起



和谁在一起都用来共你相比

就算了不起只可做到我知己

谁若寄望替代你最尾都要放弃 只能退避

和谁在一起很自然共你相比

就算游戏笑著也未快乐得起

难道我在寄望有天可失忆 找到转机



其实我很不快乐 想躲进暗黑街角

泪尽可痛快地流落 不知哪日会对爱再有感觉



和谁在一起都用来共你相比

就算了不起只可做到我知己

谁若寄望替代你最尾都要放弃 只好退避

和谁在一起很自然共你相比

就算游戏笑著也未快乐得起

难道我在寄望有天可失忆 找到转机


和谁在一起都用来共你相比


就算了不起只可做到我知己

谁若寄望替代你最尾都要放弃 只好退避

和谁在一起很自然共你相比

就算游戏笑著也未快乐得起

难道我在寄望有天可失忆

难道这份记念如像空气

欠缺就会死

“我的心情就如这首歌～～”

9,10,11/10/2009

Lolz, Happy Birthday 2 me!!

I don't think it is nice to have a birthday celebration in such a nervous situation..~~ But it won't bother me to study... I think I need a good time for me to go study hard as hard as possible. Especially when I register for Chinese.

I didn't regret though I know I wasn't capable to get A in Chinese but I promised to try my best no matter how hard it takes... I hope my dreams come true. To achieve targets isn't :" 99% perspiration, 1% inspiration" anymore... It should be:" Lucks, Hard Works and Supports" These three are very important~~!!

I dunno how others do but I trust myself that I can do it.~~ As good As POSSIBLE!!

Nothing happened these days. But hope something interesting happen...

7/10/2009 Wed

Today is PMR, every junior high school student's test of achievement. I battled hard today. I don't care whether my result was heaven or hell, I've did and tried my best to answer. Some were tricky though, maybe I didn't do too good.

As for me, I'm a clearly positive person. So I believe that I can achieve good results. I am very very tired. Maybe because I suffer from insomnia since a few days ago.

I can think I've got short sightness cause I can't clearly see things far away. I hope not because I don't want to wear spectacles at this age. I have tried hard to keep my eyes in good condition.

It was lucky the dream didn't haunt my nights these a few days. If it really comes back, I hope it comes back on 13th October. Thats when PMR is over.

And information for those reading my blog. Just to inform that I maybe will have a small party in my house during my Chinese Birthday since my Birthday falls on this Friday.

More details, I'll post out later...

Good Luck for those having their exams!!

3/10/2009 Sat

Today, it was boring. I hope nothing bad happen to me after I wrote this blog. I expect that today it will be a peaceful day but it didn't turn up. I think it is way worse than I thought.

Morning, I was in the office teaching some naughty students opting they could be better in maths. Some showed improvement, impressed.

Afternoon, I had a nap for around 2 hours cause I'm very very tired. I dreamt about the dream I mention. This time, I juz have a little memory recovered. All I know was she was talking as if it is the last time we will meet. Opt to see her face but in the dreams, we just talk through phone.

I thought I could grant control over this nightmare, but I failed. Hope to change the situaion. Why not take this as a sweet dream!! Hope to find out soon or later...

I hope to find out details about the person, and don't let it haunt me during the exams...

Nitez everyone...

2/10/2009

Back from school, feeling tired. I think, exam is really a stress for me. I can only face exams without stressing myself up. I think I can do it. Hope it will be good luck for me.

I chat with Jenny yesterday. Talking about things that happen ago. Dunno why, chatting with her, I was very happy or rather I should say excited. I know what is my thought to her. I take her as a sister. But I don't think my FEEL do so. That is because my feel to her were stronger than to others...

But I hope my conclusionw was wrong. Maybe I think I fell in love with her before but that was a long time ago... I never thought I will meet her because for I think, she prefer staying in Africa more than coming back, so I don't expect she will come back.

I tried to give her up. I suceeded but failed today...